Step 1 Get in the right frame of mind....

Losing weight is not just a case of going on a diet and lose a few pounds so you can fit in your clothes again....

And what is a diet anyway? We associate the word 'diet' with abstinence or restricting foods in our life. That's not a good thing because we all know that if we can't or shouldn't have something we want it even more. This results in a constant craving and a feeling of guilt if we succumb to our craving that makes us even more unhappy. Is this the aim to crave foods, be unhappy and miserable, maybe in a bad mood but to fit in our old clothes and hear the odd 'wow, haven't you lost weight'? Surely not!

When you have the body you want, you want to enjoy it, flaunt it and you should be running around with a huge smile on your face!

Trying to lose weight is a fate that is shared by millions of people who are all in the same boat. Never before have we lived in a period of time where so many people are overweight, obese and unhealthy all over the world as now. The sad thing is we know the reasons but most of us feel helpless to change our habits and the system.

You may ask what system? Well its easy, the food industry dictates what we eat, they do their market research to instal in us when and how much we eat, etc. etc. We all know that salt and sugar can be lethal for the human body if consumed in great quantities but how many foods have hidden sugars and excessive amounts of salt? Who hasn't made the mistake of buying 'fresh orange juice' for example only to find out that there is more sugar in one glass than the body should have in an entire day? We are brainwashed by labels 'contains Vitamin C', 'fat free', and other things that are good for the body but the colorings, additives etc. that harm the body are only visible in small print and often not fully understood by an ordinary person like you and me!

What we need to understand is that in order to change this we need to make changes too, but not just any changes. We need to free ourselves of what society expects from us and really think honestly what it is that we really want for ourselves and what will work for us.

We are all different and we all get motivated in different ways. One person might thrive with a personal trainer or counting calories whilst this might be the nightmare for another. Another person might be in denial with their body and say 'I love myself the way I am'. 




That might genuinely apply to a few but I have asked many people who made this statement and once they lost weight they realized that they had simply given into the constant struggle and resigned themselves to their fate... They were trying to 'kid' themselves. 

Almost all said they tried various diets and they didn't work for them, they didn't know what to do and felt helpless so they thought in order to move on they just have to accept openly that they are overweight and if they do this by making a statement, the rest of society, family and friends will simply lay off them and believe it too. That's one way of coping and it might work for a while but deep down these people were not as happy with their body as they made out to be and they admitted it at some stage. Some became depressed, others went on to prove their point and indulged even more into their favorite dishes and ended up sick and feeling even more miserable...

We also need to find out why our body is in the state it is in now. Are we overeating? Are we eating the wrong foods? Are we eating enough? Are we eating regularly? Are we sick?

The key to finding the answer is complete honesty with oneself!

Use your common sense. Imagine the size of your stomach is the roughly the size of your fist. This is a general rule for estimating the size of the stomach in a person of 'normal weight'. When you see a plate of food in front of you, is it bigger than your fist? Now imagine that you have a rubber sock and you need to fill it with something, you keep stuffing things into it and it will expand but eventually its like the elastic in your underwear, it will over-stretch and become lose and flabby. That's your stomach if you constantly overeat!

The saying that the eyes also eat is true but another truth is that the signal of 'I'm full' does not reach your stomach until up to 30 minutes later! Trick your eyes and use a smaller plate so it looks full!

There are endless diets, tips etc. on the market to 'help you lose weight'. I always ask myself what does the word 'diet' actually mean? When you look it up, it gives 2 main explanations:

1) the kinds of food that a person, animal, or community habitually eats and

2) a special course of food to which one restricts oneself, either to lose weight or for medical reasons

Most of the people associate the word 'diet' with the second explanation and as far as I believe that is the start of the problem.... Diet (in the 2nd explanation) is supposed to be a positive action that others perceive as us changing towards a slimmer, healthier person but for the person who does the diet, it always has a negative feel to it, i.e. 'I need to eat less', 'I can't eat what I want', 'I need to restrict myself', 'I will be in a bad mood', 'I can't go out because its too tempting' etc. etc. We immediately feel imprisoned by the word 'diet'. That is the wrong attitude and we need to get rid of this state of mind and change it to the first explanation! What most magazines, tips, websites, etc. actually mean is that you should aim for a healthy diet as described in the first explanation but most of us perceive it as the 2nd explanation.

Its a tough thing to do given that most of the foods that we buy are full of unhealthy ingredients and time is of essence to everyone because most of us lead a busy life. Then of course there's also the matter of convenience. We all know that its a mistake to go shopping when you're hungry, we buy things and eat things we probably wouldn't if we weren't hungry...

That fast food stall conveniently placed outside the supermarket is just too tempting. Let's grab a bite and when we get home we do this and that and it will save time... Sure it does, but think about what time it will save. In the long-run it will 'save', i.e. shorten the time you will be on this planet! We all know it and we all do it! There's nothing wrong with it occasionally but it can quickly turn into a habit and it has done for many of us! How many mothers are too stressed to make their child sandwiches these days because they need to get everyone ready and face a days work before they come home and all the other chores start? Of course its easier to allow your child to buy something at school and most schools now advertise 'healthy meals' but who controls what your child eats? Given the choice most of us, children and adults alike, will chose what we fancy not what's good for us!

Temptation is luring us in wherever we go, from any direction, through any media, advertising campaigns, etc. and we don't even realize it anymore, it has crawled into our subconsciousness and spreads like an invisible virus that seems unstoppable.

The first step in losing weight is therefore to get in the right frame of mind. Become aware of all the 'trigger points' that feed your eating habits.

Keeping a list of what you eat is a great thing but I am the first one to admit its not a practical thing to do. First you need to remember to write everything down and if you're out and about it becomes a bit more difficult to keep track off. I think it is enough just to be aware of your actual eating habits and realize what category you fall into, i.e. over eating, irregular meals and/or eating too little unless you think or know you have a medical condition that is the cause. (Hormone imbalance, Metabolism problems, certain medications that pile on the weight, etc.)

Once you become aware of the category you fall in, you will quickly be able to establish what can be done about it, i.e. reducing portions and times when you eat, eating more regular and/or eating more, switching foods to other alternatives, etc. Just like everything else your body needs energy but too much or too little will tip the balance. If you believe that your eating habits are good as they are consult a nutritionist or a doctor and they will give you some more clues. To be very blunt, being overweight or obese is very rarely due to illness but it does happen. One of the best known culprit for example are hormone imbalances, these 'secret, invisible things' within your body that you need to find the right key for in order for them to normalize.... Not an easy task admittedly! Its often a case of trial and error and a long winded road to travel. I am a strong believer of listening to your own body. Nobody knows your body as well as you do but you need to be brutally honest with yourself in order to find out how your body really ticks and always bear in mind that your body also changes constantly.

Now you have a clearer picture of where you are its time to change your frame of mind. Its comparable to re-programming a computer. Its not the easiest task to do but then again, once you become aware of what makes your body 'tick' and what your habits are, you can find a mindset that works for you in order to 'trick' your mind away from the bad habits and with time it gets easier and easier.

Sticking a 'fat' picture of yourself on the fridge is one way but that is for the second explanation of the word 'diet'. What you aim for is to change your eating habits and behavior on a permanent basis. Forget the thought of going to the gym for now, having achy muscles and sweat running down your forehead... What counts now is that you mentally prepare yourself and work out a way that works for you to change those habits of a lifetime. 

I used to smile upon motivational videos until I watched one that made the proverbial 'click' and I started realizing that my subconsciousness was fighting against ALL change but the one that made the 'click' was able to overcome this. The success wasn't instant, it started me thinking and bit by bit I found myself open to other motivational videos and my energy started to rise and I had more 'get up and go' to make things happen for me.  

A person that takes 3 sugars in their coffee is rarely going to give up sugar from one day to the next. What I recommend is that you find something that motivates you to change your mindset and then you set yourself small goals and allow yourself something nice as a reward when you have achieved your goal. It could be reducing to 2 spoons of sugar for a couple of days and then going down to 1, it could be to eat smaller meals but more often or it could be just drinking a big glass of water before a meal. Its a baby step but nevertheless a step that gives you a sense of achievement and the encouragement to carry on..

Many great philosophers said that the first step of a journey is the most important one and that's absolutely true. If you start any diet to lose weight and you don't get into the right frame of mind, you won't succeed! Get to know new options, familiarize yourself with them, motivate yourself to make small changes and you will start seeing the wood for the trees, I promise!

Exercising will come more or less automatically as it will be part of your journey. Its not a weight loss journey in its own right, its a journey of total rediscovery as you will find out so many things about yourself that you didn't think were possible before!

The three main keys that work for everyone, no matter what race, circumstance, income or whatever are:

1)  Clear and re-define the word 'diet'

2)  Find out what your eating habits/problems are

3)  Get in the right frame of mind to collect the energy to start making changes

Once you get more proficient in these 3 points you will find that the rest of the journey will become a lot easier and can actually be a fun experience!